Answers to the Embarrassing Questions About Adult Toys You Wish You’d Asked
Let’s be honest—most of us have questions we’re too shy to put into words, especially about adult toys. And that’s okay! Exploring something new can feel awkward, but it doesn’t have to be intimidating. Whether you’re curious or just plain nervous, understanding what to expect can empower you to make choices that suit your comfort and needs. After all, exploring what brings you joy is never something to feel embarrassed about.
For practical tips and more honest answers, check out this helpful video on YouTube.
Why It's Okay to Be Curious
Curiosity has always been the spark of exploration and self-discovery. When it comes to adult toys, though, societal pressures can make even the most curious person hesitate. But here's the thing: curiosity is natural, and it's okay to want to know more. Let’s unpack why being curious—especially about something as personal as adult toys—is perfectly fine.
Breaking the Stigma
It’s no secret that adult toys often carry a heavy societal stigma. For years, they’ve been surrounded by whispers and shame, misrepresented as something taboo or "forbidden." But why? A large part of this stems from outdated ideas about sexuality and pleasure being topics best kept in the shadows.
The truth is, those ideas no longer hold weight. Adult toys are a tool, just like anything else designed to enhance your well-being. Whether it's relieving stress, fostering self-awareness, or simply adding an element of fun to your personal life, there’s no shame in exploring your options. In fact, open discussions about these topics are becoming more common, showing that the tide is shifting toward acceptance.
If you're holding back because of societal judgment, remember this: everyone has their own journey, and no one’s path to happiness looks the same. By stepping away from stigma, you give yourself permission to live authentically.
You're Not Alone
You might feel like the odd one out for being curious, but let me assure you—you’re not. Adult toys are more common than most people would admit. A survey conducted by Lovehoney showed that nearly half of adult Americans own or have used an adult toy. That’s right—what feels like a lonely question is actually shared by millions.
People often use adult toys in private, which makes it easy to underestimate how widespread they are. You wouldn’t know if your coworker, best friend, or even the person sitting next to you on the bus has one tucked away in a nightstand. But they might. Think of it this way: adult toys are like secret members of society’s “hidden club”.
Normalizing these conversations can reduce the feeling of isolation. Platforms like Reddit even host discussions where users share their experiences, proving just how relatable these feelings of curiosity really are. When you realize you’re in good company, it’s easier to embrace your interests without fear or guilt.
Where to Start: Choosing the Right Toy
Venturing into the world of adult toys for the first time can feel a bit overwhelming—but it doesn’t have to! Think of it like picking out a pair of shoes: the perfect fit depends on comfort, purpose, and style. Whether you’re just exploring or know exactly what you're looking for, starting with a little guidance can make all the difference.
Understanding the Different Types
Adult toys come in endless varieties, each designed to suit different preferences and uses. Wondering where to start? Here's a quick breakdown of some popular options :
- Vibrators: A classic choice. Whether for external or internal stimulation, vibrators come in many shapes and sizes, offering something for nearly everyone.
- Dildos: Unlike vibrators, these don’t vibrate. They’re all about manual control and come in a range of materials and designs.
- Rings: Cock rings can help maintain an erection or add sensation. Some even include vibrating components!
- Plugs and Beads: For the more adventurous, these are excellent for exploring new sensations.
- Sleeves: Primarily for penis stimulation, sleeves provide a textured experience for added pleasure.
It’s all about what feels right for you. If you’re still unsure, check out this comprehensive guide on choosing your first toy.
Material Matters
When it comes to adult toys, not all materials are created equal. Safety and quality should always come first—no compromises. Look for toys made from body-safe materials like :
- Silicone: Non-porous, hypoallergenic, and incredibly easy to clean.
- ABS Plastic: Durable and commonly used in many safe toy designs.
- Stainless Steel: Perfect for those looking for something heavier and easy to sanitize.
Avoid porous materials like jelly rubber or cheap composites that can harbor bacteria. Curious about safety standards? Check out Planned Parenthood’s advice on sex toys and safety.
Setting a Budget
Your first toy doesn’t have to break the bank, but it’s worth investing in quality. Cheaper toys might skimp on safety or durability. Here are some tips for sticking to your budget while choosing wisely :
- Start Small: Consider beginner-friendly options in the $20-$50 range.
- Don’t Overspend: While luxury brands can be tempting, a mid-range toy often offers the perfect balance of quality and price.
- Keep it Simple: Fancy isn’t always better! A basic, well-made toy can do wonders.
Pro tip: Watch for sales from reputable online stores—it’s a great way to snag quality options without overspending.
Shopping Online vs. In-Store
Ah, the age-old debate! Should you shop online or visit a store? Let’s weigh the options :
-
Online Shopping:
- Privacy is key. No awkward encounters in public.
- You can read reviews, compare products, and explore a vast range of options.
- Reliable retailers like Goop’s guide to sex toys offer detailed descriptions and customer insights.
-
In-Store Experience:
- Get a hands-on feel of the products (not literally—but you can see the sizes and shapes in person).
- Instant gratification—no waiting on shipping.
- Store staff can sometimes provide recommendations if you’re unsure.
Choosing between the two depends on your comfort level. Online offers discretion, while in-store can provide hands-on help, so it’s all about what makes you feel most at ease.
Getting Comfortable With Your First Purchase
Making your first purchase can feel like stepping into uncharted territory, but don’t worry—you’re not alone. It’s totally normal to feel nervous or unsure. The key is to approach the experience with curiosity and prioritize your comfort. Let’s talk about the next steps to make sure your first adult toy experience is exciting and stress-free.
How to Properly Clean and Store Your Toy
One of the most important things to know? Cleaning and storing your toy properly. This isn’t just about maintaining the toy—it’s about prioritizing your health and hygiene.
- Start with Warm Water and Mild Soap: Most non-porous materials like silicone or stainless steel can be cleaned with warm water and a fragrance-free soap. You can also invest in a toy-safe cleaner for added convenience.
- Beware of Porous Materials: If you’ve chosen a toy with porous material, it’s best to use it with a condom. These materials can harbor bacteria and are much harder to sanitize thoroughly.
- Dry Thoroughly: After cleaning, pat your toy dry with a lint-free cloth. Any lingering moisture can create a breeding ground for bacteria.
- Storage Tips: Keep your toy in a storage bag or a clean, dry space to avoid dust or cross-contamination. If your toy came with its own case—bonus points for you!
For more details on effectively cleaning your toy, check out this helpful guide from Healthline.
Testing It Out Solo First
Exploring solo is not just recommended—it’s essential. Think of it like trying on new shoes. You wouldn’t wear them on a long hike without seeing if they fit first, right? Trying your toy alone allows you to get comfortable without any pressure.
- Learn What Works for You: Every body is different, and toys are no exception. Testing it solo gives you the freedom to explore your preferences.
- Additional Time and Privacy: Being alone provides the opportunity to figure out settings, speeds, or motions that feel most natural.
- Build Confidence: Once you’re more familiar with how the toy feels, introducing it into your partnered experiences will feel effortless.
Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to use your toy. The key is to experiment and discover what feels good. Think of it as self-care with a fun twist.
Communicating With a Partner
For many, the idea of talking to a partner about using adult toys can be the biggest hurdle. But communication is key to any healthy relationship, and this topic is no different.
- Start Simple: You don’t need a formal presentation. Casual moments, like while watching TV or before bed, can be a great time to bring it up.
- Focus on “Enhancing” the Experience: Frame the conversation around how the toy can add excitement, not replace or compete with either partner.
- Ask for Their Thoughts: Make sure you’re listening, too. Encouraging a dialogue helps both of you feel more connected.
- Ease In Together: If your partner’s unsure, you can suggest using the toy during foreplay or sensual exploration. Think of it as an add-on to, not a substitution for, intimacy.
Discussing adult toys doesn’t have to be awkward—it’s all about framing it as a way to have fun and build closeness. If you need more support on navigating relationship conversations, there are some great resources available to help.
Photo by Kamaji Ogino
Common Questions and Worries
Exploring adult toys for the first time can bring a mix of curiosity and nerves. It’s completely normal to have concerns or fears about how it might feel or what others might think. Let’s address some of the most common questions to help ease your mind and ensure you’re stepping into this experience with confidence and excitement.
Will It Hurt?
One of the biggest concerns for first-timers is whether using an adult toy might hurt. The short answer? It shouldn’t—if you take the right precautions. Much like trying on a new pair of jeans, the key to comfort is in the fit, quality, and patience.
Here’s how to ensure a smooth and enjoyable experience :
- Start Small: Choose a beginner-friendly toy that’s specifically designed for first-time users. Look for compact, non-intimidating options like bullet vibrators or slim dildos.
- Use Lubrication: Lube is your best friend! Opt for a high-quality, water-based lubricant to reduce friction and create a more comfortable experience (find more tips here about beginners and choosing a toy).
- Listen to Your Body: If it doesn’t feel good, stop. You’re in control—this should be a fun and positive experience, so take it slow and explore at your own pace.
Is It Safe?
Safety is a top priority when it comes to introducing anything new to your routine. Choosing the right products and following basic guidelines ensures your experience is not only enjoyable but also worry-free.
Top Safety Tips for Using Adult Toys :
- Choose Body-Safe Materials: Always opt for toys made from non-porous, body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone, stainless steel, or ABS plastic.
- Clean Regularly: After use, clean your toy with warm water and mild soap or an appropriate toy cleaner. This prevents bacteria buildup and keeps everything hygienic.
- Avoid Sharing Without Precautions: Sharing toys is okay, but always use new condoms on the toy to ensure hygiene and safety.
- Inspect Your Toy: Check for any wear and tear. If a toy looks damaged or feels rough, it’s better to replace it.
For more information about safe usage, check out this detailed guide that explores essential safety practices.
What If Someone Finds Out?
The thought of someone discovering your adult toy can cause anxiety, but rest assured—privacy is easier to maintain than you might think. Here’s how to manage this concern with ease :
- Discreet Packaging: Most reputable companies ship their products in plain packaging, with no visible logos or hints about the contents.
- Secret Storage: Invest in a storage pouch or box specifically made for adult toys. Keep it in an inconspicuous spot, such as a drawer or under the bed, for added privacy.
- Keep It Personal: Remember, this is your journey. There’s no need to share your exploration with anyone unless you feel comfortable doing so.
Worried someone might spot your order or find your toy? Rest easy—companies like The Natural Love Company are experts at ensuring customer discretion.
By tackling these common worries head-on, you can feel more confident and excited about what’s ahead.
Building Confidence Through Exploration
Exploring the world of adult toys can feel like stepping into uncharted waters, but it’s also a powerful way to build confidence. Whether you’re a little nervous or full of curiosity, taking this step is about understanding yourself better. Confidence doesn’t arrive overnight—it grows with every tiny step of exploration. Let’s break it down so that you can embrace this journey at your own pace.
Taking It At Your Own Pace
There’s no rulebook, and that's the beauty of it. Confidence-building through exploration isn't a race—it’s about finding what resonates with you. Whether it’s your first purchase or simply testing the waters, taking things slow allows you to ease into the experience comfortably.
- Experiment Gradually: You don’t have to dive into anything too complex. Start with small toys or subtle features that feel manageable.
- No “Right” Path: Some favorites stick right away; others don’t. Your comfort trumps everything else.
- Listen to Yourself: Your instincts are the best guide. Don’t feel pressured to follow trends or recommendations if they don’t align with your comfort.
Just like trying a new hobby, the goal here is to enjoy the process, stumble a little, and come away feeling even more at ease with yourself.
Photo by Ron Lach
Celebrating Small Wins
Every time you try something new—even if it’s just browsing a website or unboxing your first item—that’s a win. These small milestones matter. They’re proof that you’re prioritizing your self-exploration and empowerment.
Think of these as mini badges of courage :
- Your First Purchase: That moment when you say "yes" to exploration? Worth celebrating!
- Trying Solo: Learning what feels good without judgment or expectations—it’s all about you.
- Acknowledging Your Shift: Noticing even slight changes in how you feel or becoming more open to discussing this topic? That’s growth.
Why skip the opportunity to pat yourself on the back? Confidence is built step by step, and recognizing these moments keeps the journey fun and rewarding.
If exploring concepts around self-empowerment excites you, you might enjoy this Medium article on building confidence through curiosity—curiosity truly fuels personal growth.
Conclusion
Exploring adult toys for the first time is a journey of self-discovery that’s entirely your own—and completely valid. It’s about finding what feels right for you, without judgment or pressure.
Asking questions or feeling a little nervous isn’t weird—it’s human. Keep in mind that prioritizing your comfort and curiosity is the best way to learn and grow confidently in this space.
No matter where you are in the process, remember: you’re not alone, and there’s no set path to follow. Your first step can be small, but it’s still a step toward better understanding yourself.
Embrace your curiosity and celebrate each bit of progress. You deserve to feel good about exploring what works for you!